I've witnessed history and I'm only 2 1/2 years old!

My parents tell me I've just witnessed history but all I was concerned with was when the hell my mother was going to let me have M and M's again. Yeah, yeah some cool dude got elected President but when do I get to watch Barney and eat M and M's again? My parents told me that hopefully this cool dude will make things good enough for us people on Main Street that I might be able to go to college with the money my parents are saving. Well, I have to go now; I have to think of something cute to do to earn an M and M again. I've been told I can have two if I go poo poo in the toilet and I can have one if I go pee pee in the toilet but so far I just piss and crap myself becasue I'm too lazy to take my pants off and sit on the toilet. Maybe soon I'll start trying the toilet. It might be the only way I can enjoy the crazy goodness of those sweet, sweet M and M's.